Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
