Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
either way he was missing a nipple.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
