This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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