She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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