We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
