I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
