I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
