he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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