We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
