you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
