how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
