remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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