Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
