Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
