pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
