What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
