Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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