We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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