you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
