..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
