Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
