I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
