It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
