I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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