Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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