i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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