he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
