Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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