dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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