i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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