Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
