normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
