let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
