he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
