You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
