I just pynch a tree in the face
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
