is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
