I bet he comes in French.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
