Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
we should paint friendship bongs
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
