you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
