i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
