the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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