White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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