You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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