I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
