you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
