Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
