I got chris browned last night
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Randomize
