ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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