As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
